Grief Support
What do you need right now?
Pick the closest one. You can come back to the others.
Right now
Slow down for a minute.
Grief is physical. Steady your body before you steady the next decision.
- Drink some water.
- Sit down. Put your feet on the floor.
- Text or call one safe person.
- Do not try to do everything right now. The next 72 hours can be small.
When to contact a vet now
- Severe breathing distress or gasping
- Sudden collapse or inability to stand
- Uncontrolled pain that does not ease
- Seizures lasting more than a minute, or repeating
- Not able to keep water down for more than a few hours
- Acute, sudden change in alertness
First 72 hours
Practical next steps.
A short list of what usually matters first, and what can wait.
Do first
- • Decide on aftercare (cremation, aquamation, burial).
- • Confirm pickup or drop-off timing with the provider.
- • Keep one keepsake out (collar, tag, blanket).
- • Tell only the people who need to know today.
Can wait
- • Sorting through belongings.
- • Big announcements or social posts.
- • Replying to every message right away.
- • Decisions about getting another pet.
Aftercare options
Questions to ask the provider
- • Is this private or communal?
- • What is the timeline for ashes to be returned?
- • What is included in the cost? Are there optional add-ons?
- • Can I be present, or witness the process?
- • How will my pet be transported and held until then?
Write one true detail you do not want to lose. Even if it is small.
Family & other pets
The household feels it too.
Short, specific guidance for the people and animals around you.
Children
- • Use the real word: died. Avoid "went to sleep" or "lost."
- • Answer the question they asked, not the one you wish they asked.
- • Let them help with one small ritual: a photo, a candle, a drawing.
- • Their grief shows up in waves and play. Both are normal.
Other pets
- • Keep routines as steady as you can: meals, walks, sleep spots.
- • Some pets search, vocalize, or eat less for a few days.
- • If they were close, allowing them to see the body can help.
- • Watch for changes that last more than a week.
What to say (and what to skip)
Try
- • "I'm so sorry."
- • "Tell me about them."
- • "I'm here. No need to talk."
Skip
- • "At least..."
- • "When are you getting another?"
- • "It was just a pet."
Hold one detail
Write one true thing.
The specific details soften first. Saving one keeps it close.
Write one true detail you never want to forget.
More books and national resources
Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement — chat rooms and counselor directory.
Cornell Pet Loss Support Hotline — Tues/Wed/Thu 6–9 PM ET.
Find support near me
Aftercare, vets, hospice, grief support.
Listings are starting points, not endorsements. Verify details directly with the provider.
What do you need?
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